Brian Gongol
- Even in the year 2001, we don't know how to rebuild the Wright Brothers' first successful plane. The one on display at the Smithsonian may not even be right (but the Smithsonian can't even keep a director around). Technology has a way of coming back around to get us, even if elected officials sometimes show a little sanity and acknowledge that people should make their own decisions about using it. (5.30.2001)
- Which helps a community more: Strippers raising money for a fire department or school boards wasting time on lame mission statements (blah, blah, blah...)? If the answer were obvious, I wouldn't be asking. Honestly, though: Does anyone ever read this stuff? (5.26.2001)
- The online ad for a miniature camera features a photo of a fairly young woman. What exactly do they intend the cameras to be used for? It seems to invite perverts to do strange things. Really crazy people do things like filming volcanic eruptions. The less-adventuresome might just watch the Mt. St. Helens webcam. There are enough weirdos snooping around as it is. Don't think one of them hasn't already put a hidden camera somewhere around you. (5.25.2001)
- Laugh tracks on TV sitcoms haven't died yet -- one article says they're still used on Fraiser. One excuse? It's good for our health. Just don't let it get out of control, as it reportedly did in 1962. (5.23.2001)
- If anyone can explain why passengers have to raise the window shades on airliners during takeoffs and landings, please let me know. The best answers I can find are that they recharge the emergency-exit lighting using solar power or that it's an anti-terrorism thing. Related, but not really: For pilots who just don't know how to leave their work behind them, it's the "Aircraft Home". (5.21.2001)
- The economy's getting better and Americans are planning a record number of road trips for the summer, but don't irritate the flight attendants aboard United Airlines: they didn't get a raise and have threatened to strike. Wanna strike-break? New hires are required to know a second language. Sidenote: United's search page carries the title "Thunderstone's Webinator." Sounds like the brand name to a 1950's-era blender. (5.17.2001)
- If you're truly into wasting your time on frivolity, try the Oracle of Bacon at the University of Virginia. Though it's probably not what Thomas Jefferson had in mind when he called for the founding of that educational institution, I suppose it's a fairly good display of computing power. (5.16.2001)
- A new Coke commercial featuring Christina Aguilera is being launched to compete with the Britney Spears ad for Pepsi. Entertainment Weekly reports that an AOL poll says the Coke spot is more popular, but I'm still trying to settle (in my own head) the irony of an America Online Australia. If they were so intent on keeping the name AOL, doesn't "Australia" begin with "A"? Some people seem to be offended by Bob Dole's appearance in the Pepsi commercial. I think it's funny that anyone even cares. Senator Dole doesn't even list the ad on his TV resume. All I can say for Coke is, heaven alone can help them if they start producing commercials based on submissions to their website. They already have evangelists working for free. (5.15.2001)
- It's finally official: Boeing is moving to Chicago. I'm always happy to see my birthplace city do well, but the event again raises the issue of corporate welfare, which is a problem that just won't go away. The aviation news beat in Chicago is hot right now, as the city's top CEOs call for more runways at O'Hare (they waited for the Boeing announcement first) and United sticks by its plans to buy out U.S. Airways. United, it turns out, is also thinking about launching corporate jet service -- but it might not be such a good idea with NetJets already on top of the industry (Berkshire Hathaway owns that one, and I for one would choose not to compete with Warren Buffett). (5.13.2001)
- A new survey of workers suggests that we Americans are hard at work much of the time. But 41 percent of the respondents say they use computers at work to look for another job. It seems, though, that we're still pretty useful on the clock: Since 1992, per-hour manufacturing output has improved more in America than anywhere but Sweden, and we're way more productive overall than anywhere else being tracked. (5.10.2001)
- Thanks to a reference in Flak Magazine, I came across Smartertimes.com, an online journal dedicated to keeping the New York Times in check. Why the Times is still regarded as the nation's opinion-leading paper is beyond me, except for that persistent pro-East Coast bias perpetuated incessantly by...well, the dominant figures on the East Coast. Thanks, but no thanks: I'll remain a faithful Cubs fan and Tribune shareholder. (5.10.2001)
- If you're ever on a revival of "Let's Make a Deal," take this advice: Always trade doors when you miss the big prize. (5.7.2001)
- Viva Free Trade! Again, Long Live Free Trade! (5.2.2001)
- It may not be true among the general public that we only use ten percent of our brainpower, but it's probably a good estimate in Washington. Top brass are so obsessed with proving that they're mad at China that they've decided to recall 600,000 berets made in China instead of giving them out to the troops. Great idea, boys. Buy the berets, then throw them away. Way to get them where it hurts. Of course, jingoistic nincompoops like the Cleveland Plain Dealer are going along with the idea, as if it's some kind of brilliant military strategy instead of plain idiocy. Some day, policymakers will wake up and realize that trade is the best weapon of all. Yeah, almost as brilliant as the military's plan to commit domestic terrorism in the Kennedy era. Until then, they'll just keep arguing about whether to cut taxes. (5.2.2001)
- Big surprise: Microsoft found another security flaw in its Internet applications. Great timing, since the FBI is hacking criminals and there's a hacking war going on between China and the U.S. (5.1.2001)