Brian Gongol
- Just remember, if Yan Can Cook, so can you. (7.31.2001)
- College dating ain't what it used to be. Neither are old childhood romances. (7.28.2001)
- Just you wait: Soon, you'll have to dial eleven digits just to order a pizza. I wonder if Miss Cleo saw that one coming. (7.28.2001)
- For the small amount of voice-over work that I do, I want this man's job. Well, I wouldn't complain about being hired as a CEO, either. Maybe I'd still get the perks. (7.28.2001)
- I keep wondering if we humans don't underestimate the intelligence of chimps. In fact, they're probably too smart to keep as pets. Maybe they'd be smart enough to save their tax refunds, unlike most Americans. (7.28.2001)
- A relief to all those who dislike their jobs: Even roadies have a website where they vent their frustrations. I do not, however, have much sympathy for whiny Land Rover owners. (7.24.2001)
- The world is safe when the Samurai Pizza Cats are on the prowl. You know, in times past, great artists wrote lengthy poems or created illuminated manuscripts. Now, we've been reduced to toilet humor and vignettes that, albeit funny, are accompanied by intentionally poorly-drawn stick figures. I suspect Rembrandt is rolling in his grave, the location of which, incidentally, no one appears to know. (7.24.2001)
- If it was once this easy to get the public to buy things, I went into advertising 20 years too late. (7.23.2001)
- A controversy over artwork at the Los Angeles International Airport has me thinking: Public art should probably irritate some people. Consensus, much to the contrary of popular opinion, is not always a virtue. Some art is just plain cool, while other art is just plain ugly. Most falls somewhere in between, and when it's public art, it should probably provoke some debate. Few things are as bad as a society that never questions itself. (7.23.2001)
- Who says kids today have no ambition? (7.22.2001)
- There's bad luck, and then there's a streak of wedding-day disasters. Ouch. For balance, there's also bad taste. (7.21.2001)
- Words you don't want to hear with a black cloud overhead: "We don't know what's on fire." In a related note, where there's smoking, there's government savings. (7.18.2001)
- Smaller, faster, better: a great mantra for computing. (7.18.2001)
- The new F-22 Raptor looks promising as a way for the U.S. to remain the world's leader in airborne firepower. As Kevin Spacey says in American Beauty, "I've always wanted it, and now I've got it. I rule!" (7.18.2001)
- The next time I'm flying, I want this pilot in the cockpit. (7.17.2001)
- While you're putting all your retro 80's fashions on your credit card, be sure to pay up on time. The former head of the FBI is now with MBNA America. C'mon, Americans, pay up! You don't want to be eating gruel, do you? Even Castro's kids don't like being poor. (7.16.2001)
- Refreshing news for anyone who thought that the financial sector was starting to make sense: The president of one investment group is twenty years younger than his new subordinate. Good! There's still hope for young overachievers. And little hope for aspiring authors. (7.14.2001)
- Who would've thought that beach volleyball started as a family game? Maybe the same types who think Rockford, Illinois, could serve as a substitute for O'Hare. (7.14.2001)