Gongol.com Archives: January 2004
Brian Gongol

The American Way Protestors March in Hong Kong (1.6.2004)
Up to 100,000 say they want full democracy back

The American Way Flights Resumed Between India, Pakistan (1.6.2004)
They've been warring on and off for 14 years; now's as good a time as any to knock it off

The American Way Tony Blair on Tour (1.4.2004)
Did the surprise-visit-to-Iraq thing, and good for him

The American Way Blair: Iraq Was a Test Case (1.4.2004)
Seriously, world, we ain't kidding

The American Way US Troops Capture Another Iraqi Top 55 (1.21.2004)
This one was 54th on the list; the vast majority have been detained

The American Way Bush Gets Machiavellian (1.6.2004)
Better to be feared than loved? Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Business and Finance Canadian Health System Makes Even Stomach-Stapling Hard to Get (1.6.2004)
Even though it's one of the most effective radical weight-reduction strategies out there; tell that to those "single-payer" health-care advocates

Business and Finance US Manufacturing Expands Six Months in a Row (1.5.2004)
ISM index at a 20-year high

Business and Finance Belarus Out of (Natural) Gas (1.27.2004)
Russians, other natural gas suppliers say Belarus is a bad payer and gets the boot; I'm guessing it gets cold there

Business and Finance Queen Elizabeth Dedicates "Queen Mary II" (1.21.2004)
At 150,000 tons, it's the largest cruise ship in the world

Business and Finance European Commission Wants to Sue France, Germany (1.21.2004)
They're running big budget deficits, and the European Union has rules against that

Computers and the Internet Would You Like Chips with That? (1.7.2004)
Estimates of 1 trillion computerized, networked objects within ten years

Computers and the Internet Just Leave Technology Alone (1.7.2004)
Private industry is already putting the poor in contact with the Internet; the "digital divide" heals itself when people are allowed to pursue profits

Computers and the Internet Half of All Email is Spam (1.5.2004)
And the leading subject is Viagra

Computers and the Internet World Wastes Its Time On Stupid Searches (1.4.2004)
Google's "top hits" of 2003 include Britney Spears, Harry Potter, other nonsense

Computers and the Internet Bounty Put on Worm Creators' Heads (1.28.2004)
$250,000 if you turn them in; it hit a record one of every 12 emails being sent yesterday

Computers and the Internet The End is Near for BIOS (1.22.2004)
The software that starts your computer could be up for replacement. Or not.

Computers and the Internet Major New Computer Virus (1.27.2004)
I've gotten six versions this morning; it also "spoofs" email addresses, using fake return addresses from other domains

Computers and the Internet Gates: I'll Kill Spam by 2006 (1.25.2004)
Says he has the solution to ending all those stupid unsolicited emails

Computers and the Internet Analyst Says CD's Will Be Out By 2008 (1.27.2004)
Will be "something only old people have"

Aviation Air Marshals in the Friendly Skies of Britain (1.22.2004)
That guy sitting next to you might be packing heat

Aviation American Pilots Want Guns, French Pilots are Pansies (1.6.2004)
French pilots' union calls sky marshals "cowboys" as if that's a bad thing

Aviation US to Investigate Missile-Defense Systems for Passenger Planes (1.6.2004)
I haven't priced missile launchers lately, but I'll bet they cost less than the expected $1 million per plane that the defense systems will

Aviation Virgin Atlantic Airways to Sponsor Solo Jet Trip Around the World (1.21.2004)
Plane to hold four times its weight in fuel

Aviation British Airways Cancelling Flights Over Security (1.5.2004)
Terrorists have an unhealthy obsession with our system of air travel

Aviation Airline Behind Egypt Crash Banned from Swiss Airspace (1.4.2004)
148 killed; no definite cause yet

Aviation German Airline Refuses to Carry US Sky Marshals (1.6.2004)
Sorry, kids, this isn't the time to start getting haughty with us

We All Need a Little Humor Anti-Howard Dean Campaign Ad (1.27.2004)
Howard Dean should take his latte-drinking, Volvo-driving, body-piercing left-wing freak show back to Vermont

We All Need a Little Humor Avalanche of Books and Papers Traps Man (1.22.2004)
Warning to packrats everywhere

We All Need a Little Humor 50 Cent Christmas Parody (1.22.2004)
Innocent parody? Outright blashpemy? You decide. It's still funny.

We All Need a Little Humor Showing Drunk Drivers Who's Boss (1.4.2004)
Give repeat offenders embarrassing license plates and see who keeps up bad behavior

We All Need a Little Humor Chicago Bulls Mascot Busted (1.22.2004)
Was caught selling pot at the Cabrini-Green housing projects

We All Need a Little Humor Don't Jostle Your Refrigerator Magnets (1.22.2004)
Read the whole week of strips for the full effect

News Ireland Takes EU Presidency for Six Months (1.6.2004)
Will add ten new members in that time; too bad the colorful Berlusconi's out

News Chicago High-Rise Fire Called Arson (1.21.2004)
Medical examiner says October fire was intentional

News Quake-Stricken Iran: We Don't Want Your Help (1.5.2004)
Rejects humanitarian relief mission proposed by Sen. Elizabeth Dole. Almost forgot she was a Senator, didn't you?

News Israel to Accept 18,000 Ethiopian Jews (1.21.2004)
More than 100,000 already live in Israel

News Pope: Can't We All Just Get Along? (1.27.2004)
Religious reconciliation concert attracts Christian, Jewish, Muslim leaders

Science and Technology Mad Cow Scare Brings Changes to Meatpacking (1.6.2004)
Among other things, you won't be getting any more cattle intestines or adult cow brains anymore

Science and Technology Hi-Res Pics Arriving From Mars Rover (1.28.2004)
Rocks look layered, indicating there's a chance water was once there

Science and Technology NASA Makes It To Mars (1.4.2004)
Looks like everything's working right with the lander; its twin will arrive shortly

Science and Technology Stopping Malaria with Fish (1.5.2004)
Mosquitoes carry malaria. Fish eat mosquito eggs. No more malaria.

Science and Technology Plant Detects Land Mines (1.28.2004)
Changes color when in contact with chemical found in most mines

Science and Technology Kids Have to Learn Language from People (1.22.2004)
9-month-olds can learn foreign languages, but not from DVDs or tapes. What language does your day-care provider speak?

Science and Technology New Bird Flu Possibly Worse Than SARS (1.25.2004)
Summit scheduled for midweek to discuss solutions

Science and Technology World Health Org Says Bird Flu Could Become World Pandemic (1.27.2004)
Already has downed 2 million chickens, and if it combines with another virus it could kill large numbers of people

Science and Technology Worst-Case Bird Flu Scenario (1.28.2004)
It could recombine with a human flu virus and spread everywhere

Science and Technology Underground Buildings (1.27.2004)
They're not just for moles anymore

Science and Technology Bad Breath Caused By Dry Mouth (1.5.2004)
And those onions you put on your sardine sandwich, too

Threats to the American Way Libya Says It Doesn't Actually Have WMD's (1.22.2004)
Claiming they just want Israel to give up theirs. Whatever.

Threats to the American Way Terrorists Wanted to Hit the Vatican (1.7.2004)
Italian prime minister says the plot fell through, but it would have invited a holy war of uber-Biblical proportions

Threats to the American Way Senators to Visit North Korea (1.5.2004)
Come for the nuclear weapons, stay for the hospitality

Threats to the American Way Terrorists Threaten Philippines, Too (1.4.2004)
Islamic extremists want to rule the world

Threats to the American Way Terrorists Targeting European Parliament (1.5.2004)
Italian anarchists suspected

Threats to the American Way Terrorists Targeted Transatlantic Flights (1.4.2004)
The war continues

Threats to the American Way Suicide Bomber Was a 22-Year-Old Mother (1.21.2004)
Could anything, short of her using her children in the attack, be more disgusting?

The United States of America Panel Recommends Oversight to Protect Civil Liberties (1.7.2004)
Responses to future terrorist attacks likely to erode civil liberties, so caution is needed; let's not forget the protections of an angry, educated populace as well

The United States of America Cheney Tells Europe to Get On Board (1.25.2004)
Says it's time to fight together against those spewing anti-Western hate, or pack up and go home

The United States of America Say What? North Carolinians Call Iowans "Rubes" (1.21.2004)
Next: New Yorkers to call Texans "cosmopolitan"

Election 2004 Rupert Murdoch Gives to Bush (1.27.2004)
Then again, media moguls usually contribute to lots of campaigns, hoping to buy closer access

Election 2004 Howard Dean "Jumps the Shark" (1.21.2004)
That weird tirade on Iowa caucus night was a little too weird