Brian Gongol
Protestors March in Hong Kong (1.6.2004) Up to 100,000 say they want full democracy back
Flights Resumed Between India, Pakistan (1.6.2004) They've been warring on and off for 14 years; now's as good a time as any to knock it off
Tony Blair on Tour (1.4.2004) Did the surprise-visit-to-Iraq thing, and good for him
Blair: Iraq Was a Test Case (1.4.2004) Seriously, world, we ain't kidding
US Troops Capture Another Iraqi Top 55 (1.21.2004) This one was 54th on the list; the vast majority have been detained
Bush Gets Machiavellian (1.6.2004) Better to be feared than loved? Sometimes it's hard to tell.
Canadian Health System Makes Even Stomach-Stapling Hard to Get (1.6.2004) Even though it's one of the most effective radical weight-reduction strategies out there; tell that to those "single-payer" health-care advocates
US Manufacturing Expands Six Months in a Row (1.5.2004) ISM index at a 20-year high
Belarus Out of (Natural) Gas (1.27.2004) Russians, other natural gas suppliers say Belarus is a bad payer and gets the boot; I'm guessing it gets cold there
Queen Elizabeth Dedicates "Queen Mary II" (1.21.2004) At 150,000 tons, it's the largest cruise ship in the world
European Commission Wants to Sue France, Germany (1.21.2004) They're running big budget deficits, and the European Union has rules against that
Would You Like Chips with That? (1.7.2004) Estimates of 1 trillion computerized, networked objects within ten years
Just Leave Technology Alone (1.7.2004) Private industry is already putting the poor in contact with the Internet; the "digital divide" heals itself when people are allowed to pursue profits
Half of All Email is Spam (1.5.2004) And the leading subject is Viagra
World Wastes Its Time On Stupid Searches (1.4.2004) Google's "top hits" of 2003 include Britney Spears, Harry Potter, other nonsense
Bounty Put on Worm Creators' Heads (1.28.2004) $250,000 if you turn them in; it hit a record one of every 12 emails being sent yesterday
The End is Near for BIOS (1.22.2004) The software that starts your computer could be up for replacement. Or not.
Major New Computer Virus (1.27.2004) I've gotten six versions this morning; it also "spoofs" email addresses, using fake return addresses from other domains
Gates: I'll Kill Spam by 2006 (1.25.2004) Says he has the solution to ending all those stupid unsolicited emails
Analyst Says CD's Will Be Out By 2008 (1.27.2004) Will be "something only old people have"
Air Marshals in the Friendly Skies of Britain (1.22.2004) That guy sitting next to you might be packing heat
American Pilots Want Guns, French Pilots are Pansies (1.6.2004) French pilots' union calls sky marshals "cowboys" as if that's a bad thing
US to Investigate Missile-Defense Systems for Passenger Planes (1.6.2004) I haven't priced missile launchers lately, but I'll bet they cost less than the expected $1 million per plane that the defense systems will
Virgin Atlantic Airways to Sponsor Solo Jet Trip Around the World (1.21.2004) Plane to hold four times its weight in fuel
British Airways Cancelling Flights Over Security (1.5.2004) Terrorists have an unhealthy obsession with our system of air travel
Airline Behind Egypt Crash Banned from Swiss Airspace (1.4.2004) 148 killed; no definite cause yet
German Airline Refuses to Carry US Sky Marshals (1.6.2004) Sorry, kids, this isn't the time to start getting haughty with us
Anti-Howard Dean Campaign Ad (1.27.2004) Howard Dean should take his latte-drinking, Volvo-driving, body-piercing left-wing freak show back to Vermont
Avalanche of Books and Papers Traps Man (1.22.2004) Warning to packrats everywhere
50 Cent Christmas Parody (1.22.2004) Innocent parody? Outright blashpemy? You decide. It's still funny.
Showing Drunk Drivers Who's Boss (1.4.2004) Give repeat offenders embarrassing license plates and see who keeps up bad behavior
Chicago Bulls Mascot Busted (1.22.2004) Was caught selling pot at the Cabrini-Green housing projects
Don't Jostle Your Refrigerator Magnets (1.22.2004) Read the whole week of strips for the full effect
Ireland Takes EU Presidency for Six Months (1.6.2004) Will add ten new members in that time; too bad the colorful Berlusconi's out
Chicago High-Rise Fire Called Arson (1.21.2004) Medical examiner says October fire was intentional
Quake-Stricken Iran: We Don't Want Your Help (1.5.2004) Rejects humanitarian relief mission proposed by Sen. Elizabeth Dole. Almost forgot she was a Senator, didn't you?
Israel to Accept 18,000 Ethiopian Jews (1.21.2004) More than 100,000 already live in Israel
Pope: Can't We All Just Get Along? (1.27.2004) Religious reconciliation concert attracts Christian, Jewish, Muslim leaders
Mad Cow Scare Brings Changes to Meatpacking (1.6.2004) Among other things, you won't be getting any more cattle intestines or adult cow brains anymore
Hi-Res Pics Arriving From Mars Rover (1.28.2004) Rocks look layered, indicating there's a chance water was once there
NASA Makes It To Mars (1.4.2004) Looks like everything's working right with the lander; its twin will arrive shortly
Stopping Malaria with Fish (1.5.2004) Mosquitoes carry malaria. Fish eat mosquito eggs. No more malaria.
Plant Detects Land Mines (1.28.2004) Changes color when in contact with chemical found in most mines
Kids Have to Learn Language from People (1.22.2004) 9-month-olds can learn foreign languages, but not from DVDs or tapes. What language does your day-care provider speak?
New Bird Flu Possibly Worse Than SARS (1.25.2004) Summit scheduled for midweek to discuss solutions
World Health Org Says Bird Flu Could Become World Pandemic (1.27.2004) Already has downed 2 million chickens, and if it combines with another virus it could kill large numbers of people
Worst-Case Bird Flu Scenario (1.28.2004) It could recombine with a human flu virus and spread everywhere
Underground Buildings (1.27.2004) They're not just for moles anymore
Bad Breath Caused By Dry Mouth (1.5.2004) And those onions you put on your sardine sandwich, too
Libya Says It Doesn't Actually Have WMD's (1.22.2004) Claiming they just want Israel to give up theirs. Whatever.
Terrorists Wanted to Hit the Vatican (1.7.2004) Italian prime minister says the plot fell through, but it would have invited a holy war of uber-Biblical proportions
Senators to Visit North Korea (1.5.2004) Come for the nuclear weapons, stay for the hospitality
Terrorists Threaten Philippines, Too (1.4.2004) Islamic extremists want to rule the world
Terrorists Targeting European Parliament (1.5.2004) Italian anarchists suspected
Terrorists Targeted Transatlantic Flights (1.4.2004) The war continues
Suicide Bomber Was a 22-Year-Old Mother (1.21.2004) Could anything, short of her using her children in the attack, be more disgusting?
Panel Recommends Oversight to Protect Civil Liberties (1.7.2004) Responses to future terrorist attacks likely to erode civil liberties, so caution is needed; let's not forget the protections of an angry, educated populace as well
Cheney Tells Europe to Get On Board (1.25.2004) Says it's time to fight together against those spewing anti-Western hate, or pack up and go home
Say What? North Carolinians Call Iowans "Rubes" (1.21.2004) Next: New Yorkers to call Texans "cosmopolitan"
Rupert Murdoch Gives to Bush (1.27.2004) Then again, media moguls usually contribute to lots of campaigns, hoping to buy closer access
Howard Dean "Jumps the Shark" (1.21.2004) That weird tirade on Iowa caucus night was a little too weird