Brian Gongol
Louisiana Pants Ban (4.30.2004)
Freshman legislator wants to establish a real, live fashion police; he wins one of my Tin Foil Hat Awards
Play-On-Words on Miami Billboard Irritates the Hyper-Sensitive (4.30.2004)
Company behind it thinks itself very funny, indeed; they're really just stirring the pot unnecessarily
Ireland Putting Off Electronic Voting (4.30.2004)
Errors included big security gaps
Doing Their Public Service (4.30.2004)
Single women going to bars with high GI populations to "serve their country" (may not be entirely safe for work)
Spammers in the Can (4.30.2004)
Two arrests over fraudulent e-mails, and the feds say more are on the way
US Government to Spend $70 Million Teaching the Third World to Wash Hands (4.30.2004)
Forget billions on drugs and foreign aid -- we can save millions of lives just by teaching basic hygiene
Google IPO: $2.7 Billion (4.30.2004)
They made $105 million last year and $64 million in the first quarter of this year
Wedding Dress for Sale (4.30.2004)
The commentary is worth the price of admission
Montana Residents Tired of Iowa, Nebraska Getting All the Water (4.29.2004)
The drought continues, and changes to storage requirements are being proposed
Photos of North Korean Blast Site (4.28.2004)
In case you were confused, Communism doesn't create a utopia
107 Muslim Militants Killed in Thailand (4.28.2004)
Separatists fought with security forces
Irish Leadership Wants to Make Citizenship Tougher to Get (4.28.2004)
Would create a non-citizen category of residency
Canadian Passenger Jet Gets Military Escort After Threat (4.28.2004)
Turned out to be a false alarm
Gang of Idiots to Gather in Dublin (4.28.2004)
Their message: "Public services not private profit." Apparently they're too stupid to have noticed that Communism was a gigantic flop.
May Day Idiot Patrol in Dublin Includes Some Who Want to Cause Riots (4.28.2004)
Irish cops ready to crack down, and good for them
Chicago Radio Talk Host Turned Down $1.2 Million a Year (4.27.2004)
Can I have his job? I mean, his show is great, but I'll take a million a year
Jordan Says it Foiled a Massive Terrorist Attack (4.27.2004)
Chemical-weapons attack could have killed tens of thousands
On Quotations (4.27.2004)
Some good quotes weren't really ever said at all
Woman Busted for Smuggling Cocaine in Her Shoes (4.27.2004)
$2.7 million (Australian) worth in her sandals
Massive Fire in Thailand (4.23.2004)
Thousands of people left homeless
Australian Government Tight-Lipped Over Terror Plot (4.23.2004)
Sydney Morning Herald says it may have been a planned attack on the electrical grid
Israelis Want Anti-Missile Defenses on Their Airliners, but FAA Balks (4.23.2004)
El Al wants to use a flare system to deter missile attacks
BBC Reports 3,000 Dead or Wounded in North Korea Train Accident (4.22.2004)
NKor dictator had passed the site just nine hours before
Congressman Gets Misdemeanor Charge for Taking Gun to Airport (4.22.2004)
Special treatment? I know of folks who got the 3rd degree just for carrying a Leatherman
British to Vote on European Union (4.20.2004)
EU Constitution is so haphazard and jumbled it's a guaranteed flop
Jesse Ventura: I Might Run for Prez (4.19.2004)
His biggest hang-up: He wouldn't be able to go for midnight Slurpee runs if he won
Shell's Oil Problem (4.19.2004)
They said their reserves were much larger than they really are
Half-Calorie Coke to Arrive Mid-Summer (4.19.2004)
Called "C2," it'll be halfway between Classic Coke and Diet Coke
Grasshopper Plague to Continue in West (4.19.2004)
15 per square yard expected throughout western Nebraska, with gusts to 360
Kansas, Colorado, Nebraska in Big Fight Over Water (4.19.2004)
Big drought causes big fights over who gets the last drops
Israel Waxes Newest Hamas Leader in Air Strike (4.19.2004)
He only lasted a few weeks after replacing the previously-assassinated terrorist chief; much world whining follows, as if he wasn't planning to kill the people who killed him
Several Very Good Responses to Killing of Hamas Leader (4.19.2004)
A few more smoldering craters may be in order for other terrorist leaders
Canadian Mayor Gets Boot for Taking Two-Month Vacation (4.19.2004)
Of course, for the $100 he's paid per month, a two-month vacation may be all he gets out of the job anyway
Union Members Think Bush is a Nicer Guy Than Kerry (4.19.2004)
And that, folks, is what elections can be made of
Guinness to Close UK Brewery, Up Irish Production 50% (4.15.2004)
Come on, America -- we're fourth in the world for Guinness consumption
Europeans Show Backbone, Tell Bin Laden to Blow Off (4.15.2004)
Even France is on board with this one
Small Plane Hit Something, But No One Knows What (4.14.2004)
Mid-air collision caused a fatal crash, but the other thing it hit is nowhere to be found
UNI Tae Kwon-Do Club Featured in Waterloo Courier (4.14.2004)
I've been a student there since 2000
Europeans Now Spend 27% of GDP on Welfare (4.14.2004)
Ireland is by far the lowest spender, and there are complaints that their 14% isn't enough
Air Marshal Forgets Gun in Airport Bathroom (4.13.2004)
Air marshals have to disarm before relieving themselves? These are things I did not know...
Bomb Cache Found in Fallujah Exposes International Terrorists (4.12.2004)
The "rebels" there aren't just residents; they're also the terrorists we're fighting elsewhere (from Opinion Journal)
Why Iraq is Not Vietnam (4.12.2004)
The only thing they have in common is their treatment by the media
US Tries Negotiations in Fallujah (4.12.2004)
Insurgents are either being put down or put underground
Arab Press Vitriolic About Fallujah (4.12.2004)
In case you had any misgivings, it's a rare voice that doesn't praise extremism
American Airlines Gave Away Passenger Data (4.12.2004)
So did JetBlue and Northwest
No Water for Wyoming (4.9.2004)
Snowpack 30% below normal
Astronauts: Figure Out How to Bust Up Asteroids (4.9.2004)
They're a known threat, so something should be done to deal with them
Governor Schwarzenegger Saves Drowning Man (4.9.2004)
When duty calls...
Las Vegas is Nearly Out of Fresh Water (4.9.2004)
They're using all they can from the river, now looking to backup supplies
Omaha Politician Wants Harsh Penalties for Selling Sidewalk Chalk (4.9.2004)
If vandalism is a problem, is the solution really to fine the stores selling sidewalk chalk?
NM Using Water Five Times Faster than Mother Nature Provides (4.8.2004)
The Ogallala Aquifer is in trouble, and not just in New Mexico
Permit Issued for Privately-Funded Manned Space Flight (4.8.2004)
Scaled Composites is ahead of the curve for the X-Prize
Canada Bans Baby Walkers (4.7.2004)
Canadians can't even sell them at garage sales anymore, because the Canadian government apparently knows better than you
Grenade Left in Atlanta Airport Bathroom (4.7.2004)
Early reports said pin was pulled, but then they became less specific
Dumb April Fools' Pranks Get College Papers Shut Down (4.7.2004)
Stupid or poorly-evaluated jokes are one thing. Shutdowns seem far too heavy-handed. A free press should be a free press.
Idiot "Cartoonist" Was Stealing His Material (4.7.2004)
See the picture that caused the flap, and compare it to Pearls Before Swine -- the student who got fired wasn't even drawing his own cartoon
Convicted September 11th Conspirator Walks (4.7.2004)
Moroccan had been sentenced to 15 years in prison by a German court, but he'll get a retrial
Iraq Was Bad; Rwanda Was Worse (4.7.2004)
Ceremonies recall the murder of 800,000 people ten years ago
Ireland to Vote on Who Gets to Be a Citizen (4.7.2004)
Should children born to non-nationals receive citizenship? The question is being asked here, too.
In-Flight Voting (4.6.2004)
Probably not as exciting as a decent film, but it's offered on Austrian
Writer Claims Al Qaeda Has Suitcase Bombs (4.5.2004)
The Soviets were much more fun to have as arch-enemies
England's Favorite Mom (4.5.2004)
They chose blue-haired Marge Simpson
Hand-Made Airplane a Work of Art (4.5.2004)
This plane is almost too perfect for its own good; accepted flaws in conventional planes are hard to adapt into a nearly-flawless one
Trident Earns a Competitor (4.5.2004)
Big Red gum contains an oil that kills bacteria
Chicago's Daley Says Meigs Field Should be a Park (4.5.2004)
Hizzoner had the runway busted up in the middle of the night
Greatest April Fool's Hoaxes (4.5.2004)
The "spaghetti harvest" tops the list
Don't Light That Here (4.5.2004)
Ireland bans smoking practically everywhere
Defense Department Thinking Blimps (4.5.2004)
Airships could patrol 500-mile "buffer zone" around the coasts
Wolfowitz Says Spanish Political Opportunism Is Dangerous (4.5.2004)
If attacks on civilians win troop pullouts, what message does that send?
Iraqi Judge to Anti-American Cleric: Time's Up (4.5.2004)
Curfew imposed on Fallujah
Canadian Held As Terrorist Suspect (4.2.2004)
Reportedly connected to the arrests in London earlier in the week
Is "Smacking" Really a Huge Problem in Australia? (4.2.2004)
Something about the story's headline just doesn't sit right
22-lb. Bomb Found on Spanish Rail Line (4.2.2004)
Letter bombs also sent to radio, TV stations and newspaper