Seven Rules for St. Patrick's Day
- Don't be an amateur drinker. You do not acquire a tolerance you didn't have yesterday just because it's March 17.
- Green beer is a sham. Drink Guinness or Smithwick's -- or learn to appreciate whiskey. And be an adult about it.
- If you haven't read any Irish literature, you're depriving yourself. Start with "Dubliners" by James Joyce.
- Never eat corned beef that hasn't boiled for at least 24 hours. If it's rubbery, it hasn't cooked long enough.
- Cabbage should be added to your corned beef no more than one hour before serving. Cabbage only. Nothing else.
- It's Paddy, not Patty.
- America is a melting pot. Not every freckled redhead is Irish, and many people who don't "look" Irish really are.